I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Actions speak louder than pants.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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