I am spending my child support on dildos
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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