she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
