So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
