Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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