so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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