How'd it feel making her break her religion?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
