i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
