I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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