You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
