he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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