I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
