he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
