from now on my penis is your penis
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
