Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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