Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
