Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
