Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
