I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
