Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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