I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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