I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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