your room smells of hookers.
And success
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
vagina is talking i cant
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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