wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
