I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
