I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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