the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
