May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
