Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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