I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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