We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
