Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
