Non-Jews are for practice
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
