somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
