This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
