really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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