): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
