like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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