where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
