i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
