We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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