The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I want her autograph on my taint
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
