if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
