I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
