this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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