Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
