38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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