OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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