lets start a swedish sibling band together
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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