Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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